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The life cycle of a programmer

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  • binary age(*) 0 > 1 (baby): learns structure of first language

  • 1 > 10 (toddler): walks, learns many keywords of first language and significance of context, develops philosophy of life

  • 10 > 100 (little kid): violates rules of language, is housetrained (usually)

  • 100 > 1000 (brat): violates intent of language, starts school to learn new ways to abuse language

  • 1000 > 10000 (big kid): reaches physical maturity, reverts to subset of language with local variations -- causing parsing errors among programmers of all other ages

  • 10000 > 100000 (trainee): reaches mental maturity (usually), learns new languages, starts to work (usually), marries (maybe)

  • 100000 > 1000000 (programmer): reaches emotional maturity (usually) and begins to decline physically, works, dreams of times of no work both past and future, divorces (usually), remarries (maybe)

  • 1000000 > 10000000 (curmudgeon): forgets languages, declines in usefulness; almost all programmers are retired during this age range, although in the past some remained working well into this range to deactivate millenium(**) bugs in their older code

  • => 10000000 (zombie): this is currently not possible due to the age field having been defined as a signed char; while negative ages are not logically possible, it is believed that the negative range was once used for returning errors from age-related functions and this definition has been retained for historical compatibility (the language committee apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause)
* age expressed in complete cycles around the main energy object

** primitive languages used an obsolete numbering system called 'base ten' which somehow encouraged programmers to create date bugs related to the value 11111010000 (?)
mail this link | score:8610 | -Ray, June 15, 2000 (Updated: April 18, 2007)
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